What the hell happened!?!

Jesus!! I was absolutely out of my tree last night. A combination of an adverse reaction to Tramadol, Phenergan to settle that down, Morphine and bugger all food and sleep all contributed to me being as ripped as I have ever been.

In no particular order:

·      I fell asleep on the phone talking to my 11 year old daughter;

·      I was talking to an old school mate on the Gold Coast about God knows what;

·      I chewed the wife’s ear off for hours while I nodded off intermittently;

·      I scared my 7 year old son on the phone by talking to him like he was a 70 year old;

·      I resisted my wife trying to take my iPhone off me; and

·      I was talking to a mate on FB about goths.

Considering I didn’t get to sleep until late as I was so wired, and I was woken up at the crack of dawn (or earlier) by a nurse who wanted to take my vitals, I’m feeling quite good this morning. I am really, really stiff in the hip as expected but the pain is not too bad.

Here’s my left hip. It looks a lot worse than it is. The black writing was put there before the surgery so they didn't do the wrong side. It reminds me of Krusty the Clown and the plastic surgeon.

"Krusty, your plastic surgery is complete. Now, when I remove the bandages, don't be alarmed at the total stranger staring back at you."

"AAAAAAAAHHH! I LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME, YOU MORON!"

"Oh, nonsense, Krusty. You look at least 10 years younger. Plus I did your breasts."

"Does anybody hear me complaining about the breasts?"

I was surprised by how little information about what went on in the surgery I received from the surgeon. He said there wasn’t as much damage as expected and had performed a labrum debridement and removed a CAM lesion on the femoral head/neck. I’m not sure what I expected. Somewhere between an written report and a reassuring description I suppose.

The lovely physios came in to take me through what I need to do between now and next Monday’s second surgery. I liked the idea of getting off my feet and resting as much as possible.

The basic gist of it all was:

·      Avoiding having my leg raised at or above 90 degrees;

·      Use my crutches until I can walk without a limp;

·      Sleep on my back or side with a pillow between my legs; and

·      Keep up the anti inflammatory and pain medication.

I was also given a fact sheet with advice and exercises, including isometric quadratus muscle contractions where I need to lie on my stomach with my ankles raised to 90 degrees. I need to open the operated leg slightly then push the heels together.

Here is the fact sheet.

Apparently the quadratus muscle is the equivalent of the shoulder cuff. It holds the hip in place and gives the joint stability.

The pharmacist eventually turned up and gave me a showbag full of medication. I have Meloxicam which is a heavy duty anti inflammatory and Nexium which apparently stops the Meloxicam causing ulcers, bleeding, or holes in the stomach or intestine. I also got Endone which is for severe pain relief.