Take care with Endone

The hour or so drive home from the hospital was horrendous. Morphine through a drip is lovely. Two Endone or Oxycondone tablets are shithouse. I’m home in bed now feeling like Renton from Trainspotting getting off the junk – minus the baby crawling on the ceiling.

My blood pressure was down before I left and I reckon I was dehydrated. They probably shouldn’t have let me go home.

The morning after

The surgeon popped in this morning and I was amazed when he said there was a lot more damage to repair in the right hip. I was certainly sorer last night after this bout of surgery but I put it down to different pain medication considering I had a bad reaction to the Tramadol last week.

Turns out there was labrum damage which was debrided and a CAM lesion that required removal but there was also considerable cartilage damage that was removed. The surgeon then performed micro fracturing on the site to promote growth of a bone “scab” and causes new cartilage to develop.

Very strange as the left hip has always given me the most trouble and pain.

Here’s my right hip with and without the waterproof dressing. Arthroscopies are an amazing technology.

The lovely Irish physio came in and suggested I back right off on the isometric exercises until I see my local physio. I mentioned I had been sore from doing them on my left side and she gave me a simpler quadratus muscle exercise that I could do.

Here I go again!!

Well. Here I go again. The oldies have driven me down to St Vincent’s Hospital this morning and I’ve been wondering if I am wasting my time. The left hip was the one that gave me the most grief when I run and play sport, and as it turned out the damage wasn’t a great as the MRI suggested once the surgeon got in there last week.

While I still had labrum debridement and a femoral osteectomy of the CAM lesion on my femoral head/neck, the surgeon didn’t seem to think it was too bad. If that is the case, I am quite fearful that he’ll get into my right one and find there is nothing wrong with the bloody thing.

On the other hand, I recommend St Vincent's & Mercy Private Hospital where you’ll have your hip shaved and painted and you’ll get an injection in the guts from gorgeous young Irish and Scottish nurses and physios.

Plus you get these fetching underpants!

Now, back to my newspaper.

Resting up is hard to do

I really thought I’d be far better at lying around and doing nothing than I am. I’ve always prided myself on the ability to do sweet F. A. when required but I am super restless.

On the other hand, the good wife has come to the party with a new Apple TV so I can watch my UFC and movies from bed. I’ve also got a tall toilet seat that I can’t see myself getting rid of. You’ve never enjoyed a toilet seat as much as when you’ve got handles!!

Apple TV and some reading to relax

My beloved toilet seat. It's a family heirloom passed down through the generations. A marvel of engineering.

What the hell happened!?!

Jesus!! I was absolutely out of my tree last night. A combination of an adverse reaction to Tramadol, Phenergan to settle that down, Morphine and bugger all food and sleep all contributed to me being as ripped as I have ever been.

In no particular order:

·      I fell asleep on the phone talking to my 11 year old daughter;

·      I was talking to an old school mate on the Gold Coast about God knows what;

·      I chewed the wife’s ear off for hours while I nodded off intermittently;

·      I scared my 7 year old son on the phone by talking to him like he was a 70 year old;

·      I resisted my wife trying to take my iPhone off me; and

·      I was talking to a mate on FB about goths.

Considering I didn’t get to sleep until late as I was so wired, and I was woken up at the crack of dawn (or earlier) by a nurse who wanted to take my vitals, I’m feeling quite good this morning. I am really, really stiff in the hip as expected but the pain is not too bad.

Here’s my left hip. It looks a lot worse than it is. The black writing was put there before the surgery so they didn't do the wrong side. It reminds me of Krusty the Clown and the plastic surgeon.

"Krusty, your plastic surgery is complete. Now, when I remove the bandages, don't be alarmed at the total stranger staring back at you."

"AAAAAAAAHHH! I LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME, YOU MORON!"

"Oh, nonsense, Krusty. You look at least 10 years younger. Plus I did your breasts."

"Does anybody hear me complaining about the breasts?"

I was surprised by how little information about what went on in the surgery I received from the surgeon. He said there wasn’t as much damage as expected and had performed a labrum debridement and removed a CAM lesion on the femoral head/neck. I’m not sure what I expected. Somewhere between an written report and a reassuring description I suppose.

The lovely physios came in to take me through what I need to do between now and next Monday’s second surgery. I liked the idea of getting off my feet and resting as much as possible.

The basic gist of it all was:

·      Avoiding having my leg raised at or above 90 degrees;

·      Use my crutches until I can walk without a limp;

·      Sleep on my back or side with a pillow between my legs; and

·      Keep up the anti inflammatory and pain medication.

I was also given a fact sheet with advice and exercises, including isometric quadratus muscle contractions where I need to lie on my stomach with my ankles raised to 90 degrees. I need to open the operated leg slightly then push the heels together.

Here is the fact sheet.

Apparently the quadratus muscle is the equivalent of the shoulder cuff. It holds the hip in place and gives the joint stability.

The pharmacist eventually turned up and gave me a showbag full of medication. I have Meloxicam which is a heavy duty anti inflammatory and Nexium which apparently stops the Meloxicam causing ulcers, bleeding, or holes in the stomach or intestine. I also got Endone which is for severe pain relief.